It is here. No turning back. I am literally hours from my 40th birthday. And I dont know what to do. I am cleaning the house per usual. I am washing dishes and paying bills and all the while in the back of my mind I am thinking:
Tomorrow I turn 40.
I am also having PMS, which is so unfortunate for everyone involved. When my dear husband realized these two events were culminating on the same weekend he deemed them "the perfect storm." He then asked, quietly, with both love and fear in his eyes..."What should I do?"
Tomorrow I turn 40.
40. The same age my mom was when I was 19. But she was so...old. Is this how she felt? She felt like she was young and hip and full of life and surely only 29, or 33 tops? Because I am still young! I am not a "ma'am!" I am not "Mrs. Corrona!" (well, I am, but you know what I mean..) This is all so weird. I was just 30. I blinked my eyes, (or is it 'blunk' my eyes? or 'blanked' my eyes? It's already happening, improper grammar usage... another casualty of age) and had gray hairs and wrinkles and "mom arms" and, well, other stuff.
I am sitting at my computer dressed, with a towel on my head, having just showered; having just contemplated the meaning of this monumental day that is so quickly approaching. Every minute another piece of my youthful self disappearing in the sands of time. (It seems I am becoming more dramatic by the minute, too...)
Tomorrow I turn 40.
I already know it will be just another day. Really, nothing will change. I will (God willing) awaken as usual, get kids off to school, do some dishes, and live another day. But I will be 40. F-O-R-T-Y. for-tay. fordee. no longer 39,
Tomorrow I turn 40.
