To Fly

My little girl is growing up.  Well, they both are...but I speak specifically of my oldest, who is 10. Going on 15.  Leaping with all her might into the next phase of life while I try to grasp at her heels and slow her down.  But she is fast.  She no longer desires to be held tight in my safety net.  She wants to fly.

There was a time when my love and care were of utmost importance to her.  She needed me.  She needed me so much more than she does these days.  I was once a star shining brightly in her world.  Her eyes would follow my every move.  Her mouth would speak to me words of adoration.  Her desire was to spend her time with me. Now her sky is filled with stars, and many burn so brightly that at times I wonder if I am still seen, if I am still as captivating to her as I was in the early years.  And truthfully, I know that I am not.  And that is hard to know.  My failures and flaws are becoming more and more evident the older she gets.  Her eyes are now often filled with question, and her words are not always as easy to hear.

I am learning to let go.  I am learning to step back and watch from the sidelines.  I am learning to let her become someone apart from me.  Different than me. I am carefully and cautiously releasing my grip.  I am trusting that the God of the universe has still got His loving hand on her.  I am choosing to do this for her sake. And for mine.  I am letting her fly.