Parenting

So Nate and I had a sit down this morning to discuss our parenting strategies.  I dont know about your family but it seems every 6 months or so we have "new" children we are dealing with.  Zaine gets the better end of the deal because she's the youngest and we have dealt with similar situations before with Lux.  And although they are very different, there is always that little "oh yeah.." moment when we can recall some old methods that worked before.  Poor Lux doesnt have that luxury.  And this tween thing is killing me.  Im not kidding.  Im totally thrown for a loop.  So between Zaine being completely different from her sister, and Lux breaking new ground, Nate and I are often wondering what we got ourselves into.

Dont get me wrong.  We have two great girls.  At least in public.  No, but really, they are two great girls.  With great (BIG) personalities.  And strong opinions.  About everything. But they are great girls!  With wonderfully complicated emotions.  Rapidly changing wonderfully complicated emotions. Emotions that can cover the full spectrum from happy to mad with just one wrong word from me.  Or wrong look.  Or wrong chuckle.  Or no chuckle at all.  Basically, however I respond seems to be wrong. At least with the tween.  The little one still thinks I hung the moon.  The older blames me that it isnt full tonight.

Nate, on the other hand, still has full credibility.  He's got a ticket on the Love Boat (read with sarcasm). He's Mr. Cool.  Mr. "Im a barrel of laughs."  Mr. "I can say the same thing as mom and get a totally awesome response." It truly is fascinating. In fact, I have found that if I go to him with my requests for the kids, he can get them to do most anything.  Im so jealous, but so thankful someone is still respected around here. (cue violins for "poor mom" song.)

So because of all of this odd drama; because of all of these changing behaviors and our inexperience in dealing with them, we have found we have developed some ridiculous coping mechanisms we fall back on when we arent sure what else to do. Secretly we tease each other about this...

The Loud Clap is what Nate often resorts to when he senses a lack of control.  This can also be accompanied with a shout of names that correspond in time to the clap, increasing the number of claps.  For example "Lux and Zaine!" would be "Clap Clap Clap!" Sometimes a bug eyed look also accompanies this response.  We laughed about that one this morning.  I, however, will forever be remembered for Helicopter Arms, which were used in a time of desperation while traveling with the girls this past summer.  It was bedtime and they had to share a room and doggonit,they would not quit bickering.  I could hear them behind that door, picking at each other.  It had been a long trip without Nate, and I had had it.  I had already spoken with them several times and they just kept at it.  So I lost my mind.  Mom plain. lost. her. marbles. I dont remember exactly what was said, but I do remember my arms beginning to move in a circular motion, like propellers, beating against the end of the bed in frustration.  I remember the children staring at me, stunned, with looks of disbelief and wonder in their eyes. And I remember thinking I would not be proud of this the next morning, and I would probably be addressing their questions about my behavior shortly.  And that is exactly what happened.  And we talked about how mom's arms were flying.  And we called them "helicopter arms." And we laughed at how silly mom can be when she's frustrated. And we all went to sleep exhausted, but no longer bickering.

Parenting is hard.  When something finally gets easier, another wrench is thrown in the wheel.  And I will admit that I am at a loss half the time with how to handle things.  I am treading water, people.  I am just waiting for the whistle at the end of the day telling me I can rest for a bit.  Then the next morning it is back in the water.  But one way we are making it through is together.  We might have a mess of a day, but in the end we thank the Lord we are together.  A family.  A crazy mess of emotions facing the unknown, but getting through it together.