1st World Problems.

I have found that one of the most difficult things about being a mother is the lack of time alone.  And the second most difficult thing about it is getting your husband to understand that.  I know I don't do a lot of "work," and that most husbands spend hours a day fighting the good fight to bring home a paycheck to feed their families.  I know that it is a privilege to even have a partner to share parenting duties with, and a blessing to be able to stay home with my kids.  I love my kids.  I would give my life for my kids.  But I still need time alone.  Time that does not involve meeting any other person's needs.

Recently (5 minutes ago) Nate and I became frustrated with each other over this "need for time alone."  The conversation went something like this.

Me: "Sometime in the next few days can I just have some time alone? Time to go do whatever?"
Nate: "Yeah...sure.  How about tomorrow (Saturday) morning before swim lessons."
Me: "Swim lessons start at 11:30.  I'd rather take some time when there isnt a deadline on when I have to be home."
Nate: "I always have to come home too.  I dont think it is possible to not have a time to be home."
Me: "What I mean is, that feels rushed.  I'd rather do it some other time."
Nate: "You are getting ready to have 5 days a week of free time with school starting soon."
Me: "I know, but it has been a long summer without any free time.  I just want to be alone to do my own thing. Why are you getting frustrated?"
Nate: "Because I just had a hard week of work and I am frustrated that you..."


At that point I said something about it not being a good time to talk about this, and he agreed.  But Im thinking we are not alone in these conversations.  I am thinking there are a lot of husbands and wives having this conversations.  I dont have a concrete reason for my request, I just know that it is something I need. It has nothing to do with shirking my responsibilities or thinking my work is somehow more difficult or tiresome than his.  It has to do with taking care of myself so that I can continue to meet all of the other needs that are before me each day. And now I have had some time alone writing this post. And now I feel refreshed enough to go tackle the BBQ chicken dinner my family is waiting on.  And now I will be a much more pleasant wife and mother to be around. Because I had some time alone.