This is going to seem like a ridiculous post, because it is filled with special requests I have should I lose my mind as I continue aging. But some of the trends for Hollywood stars and older women these days are freaking me out! I dont want to succumb to the pressure and make some irrational decision that will change me for the rest of my life. I am afraid that the women in Hollywood are so encapsulated in their little world that they do not realize that to the rest of us, they are looking like freaks from (inserting Hunger Games reference here) The Capital! So without further ado, here is my list of "please stop me if I..." requests.
1. I cannot always tell the difference between botox and a face lift, by my goodness, many celebrities are beginning to look a bit Stepford! Madonna, Helen Hunt, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Cox and others have all begun to drastically change in appearance. Even Sandra Bullock looked different at the latest awards show. I am beginning to wonder if so many people surrounding them are getting it done that they are assuming it is the new "must do" without realizing how shocking it is to the rest of the world. I saw a great post from Alyssa Milano on Twitter recently that said something to the affect of "when you get a face lift you dont look younger, you just look like you have had a face lift." Well put! I hope she can withstand the pressure to go under the knife and simply age gracefully. While I would love to have a few wrinkles erased, I fear more the changing of my entire appearance in the process! Seems to me the results are of greater concern than the actual wrinkles.
2. I hate to pick on Madonna, but her Superbowl halftime show was the perfect example of my next request. Do not allow me to dance and frolic around in a corset and fishnet stockings, climbing on younger men's shoulders, as my teenage daughters stand by mortified. Sometimes I forget how old I really am, and I try to pull off some outfit that is really more appropriate for a 20 something girl. I get it that it happens. I have a momentary lapse of judgement and then when I have to unbutton the jeans to breathe, or change the shirt to allow room for my fuller stomach I am immediately reminded that things are shifting and changing and rather than force my middle aged body into the teenage clothes of my youth, I should just purchase new, age appropriate items. That is not to say I cant still dance and frolic, I just dont want to be wearing things my own teenagers wouldnt be caught in. Or climbing on the shoulders of their school mates when I have a hard enough time stepping up onto a bleacher. Just saying.
3. Finally, please stop me if I begin resorting to odd behavior in hopes of appearing glamorous or sexy. I felt for Angelina Jolie and her "leg bombing" fiasco because we all know we do it. We figure out there is a perfect way to stand to hide our not-so-perfect flaws. We have a "picture smile" that comes out every time we stand in front of the camera. And I cannot imagine what it must be like to be photographed every day, everywhere you go. No wonder she rehearsed that pose until she found the exact way she wanted be seen, and then used that pose for every photo op thereafter. She looked good, but the pose came across as it's own entity. Something fake, and unnatural. Sometimes I feel like I am heading down that road. Wanting to always be seen in the best light. But then I remember that it is in revealing my flaws (or should I say, in not trying to be perfect) that I become more real. We arent always standing perfectly with one hand on a hip and one beautifully long and lean leg thrust out of a sky high slit. We are moms who dont have stylists and hairdressers. We spend most of our time at Walmart and Target and will be lucky if we make it on camera or to an awards show. And that is ok. I dont have it all together and that's ok. And a facelift or sexy leg wont change that.
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