swim lessons

The girls are taking swim lessons this season.  Both really enjoyed being a part of a summer swim team last year and have been asking and asking about it so I decided to try out the twice a week swim lessons at the indoor county pool.

When you have two daughters who are relatively close in age and similar in size and stature you run into a lot of drama when they end up doing the same activity.  The outcome depends a lot on the mood of each child and the enormity of importance of the activity for each child. For example, my 8 year old will decide she'd like to draw a picture.  After drawing it she decides to cut the picture into pieces to make it into a puzzle.  Ten minutes later my 6 year old is in her bedroom cutting up the picture she has drawn and the 8 year old realizes she's been copied.  Older child will respond 1 of 3 ways: 1: she will loudly verbally admonish younger sibling for being a copycat and stomp off to her room.  2: she will take a look at younger sibling's work, decide hers is better anyway, and continue on about her business. 3: she will actually choose to engage in the activity with younger sibling and the two will spend some quality time together.

The same is true for an activity our youngest comes up with, although more often than not she is just thrilled her big sis wants to play with her.  Say she is....cartwheeling.  Eight year old will ask if she can cartwheel too.  Youngest will either 1: be completely thrilled that her sister took an interest in her and include her immediately. 2: yell loudly, as if barking (for no apparent reason) that SHE is the one cartwheeling and it is HER turn, to which her sister responds with a couple of blinks and walking away. 3: begin to try to teach her older sister how to properly cartwheel because she is better at them and she's just trying to help. Her older sister bows up at the idea of this "kid" trying to teach her how to cartwheel and cartwheels all over the place just to bother the little one.

So, I was thrilled when it appeared the two girls would be in different classes for swim lessons, but in class at the same time.  I mean, Zaine is younger and not the swimmer her older sister is, so it made sense that I put her in the beginner class and Lux in the Level 3 class.  They were fine with it, I was fine with it.  All was fine.

At the start of the lessons they did some testing to be sure the kids were placed in classes correctly.  In Z's class they had to swim across the short side of the small pool doing "freestyle" which she had been swimming since summer, although obviously not in proper form.  She did fine.  Then they went on to backstroke...Zaine's favorite stroke.  She zoomed across the pool.  The instructor caught her up in her arms and swam her over to the Level 3 class.  Yes, Lux's class.  They felt she should be in the higher level.

I glanced up just in time to see the looks on both girls faces as Zaine caught the side of the pool right next to her sister. Z was thrilled! She was bouncing in the water with a big grin tapping her sister's shoulder saying, "Lux, look! Look I got moved up to your class!" And as if in slow motion my eyes drifted to Lux's face right next to Z.  Her pleasant expression melted into not so subtle irritation as her eyes caught mine and she gave me the "this cant be happening, Mom, do SOMETHING!" look.  She was happy for her sister, I know she was, but the idea that they would be grouped together as if equal swimmers was mortifying to her.  She kept a level head about it and swam her best for the rest of class, giving me the occasional, "this really stinks" look.


In the end Lux was moved up to the Level 4/5 class and the girls are in separate classes again.  But when I think back about their totally different reactions to being in the same class I could relate to each girl's response.  Zaine being thrilled at the chance to swim with the older kids, including her sister.  Her sense of accomplishment and of measuring up to her big sister, to whom she is often the underdog.  And Lux, always having her little sister nipping at her ankles, trying to be like her and copying her. Wanting to have some 'alone time' to focus on her favorite sport and then having Zaine tagging along...again. I started thinking about how important it is to teach teamwork within the family, but also to let kids shine in their own spotlights.  To give them something of their own to really grow in.  To encourage them in their own unique talents apart from their siblings. To teach them that getting along and loving each other is important, but it's ok to have your own goals and dreams apart from each other.